Search
Close this search box.

Guilty As Charged: Middle Aged Man in Lycra Shorts

A woman has alerted the police that she had seen a man in a state of arousal in public...
Share
Tweet
Share
Chat

The other day, Greater Manchester Police announced on Twitter that a woman had alerted them that she had seen a man in a state of arousal at the Piccadilly tram stop in the city centre. 

He probably wasn’t the only man in the city centre in this condition but he had the misfortune to be wearing lycra cycling shorts and had been spotted by this eagle eyed member of the public.

Being in possession of a knife or other offensive weapon in a public place carries a maximum 6 months and/or £5,000 fine. But as far as we’re aware, being in possession of an erection in public is not illegal, unless it contravenes some obscure byelaw similar to those which prohibit driving sheep across Blackfriars Bridge on a Sunday or eating pizza on a Friday.

The police were concerned about what the man was going to do with the inflamed body part.  But being in possession of an erection in a public place does not mean you are going to do anything with it, otherwise 99% of teenage boys would have criminal records.

And it’s unlikely the man sought by police would have been able to do any accidental damage such as tripping someone up or poking someone in the eye.

On the other hand, he could have tried to do something about it by thinking about the Money Supermarket ad with the pole dancing builder or maybe being at the dentist.

Nevertheless, as far as we’re concerned, this was a huge fuss over nothing and a complete waste of police time. However, we think there is something the man should have been cautioned about. He was in his 50s and wearing lycra shorts. Now that’s what we call a criminal offence.

Share
Tweet
Share
Chat

Did we miss something? Let us know: [email protected]

Want to be the first to receive all the latest news stories, what’s on and events from the heart of Manchester? Sign up here.

Manchester is a successful city, but many people suffer. I Love Manchester helps raise awareness and funds to help improve the lives and prospects of people across Greater Manchester – and we can’t do it without your help. So please support us with what you can so we can continue to spread the love. Thank you in advance!

Support us

£
Support now wdgk loader image

Got a story worth sharing?

What’s the story? We are all ears when it comes to positive news and inspiring stories. You can send story ideas to [email protected]

An email you’ll love. Subscribe to our newsletter to get the latest news stories delivered direct to your inbox.

Search
Close this search box.