Fricking hell! Are these the six dirrrtiest burgers in Manchester?

This wasn’t an easy list to make. We had to go around some of the best dirty eateries in the city and sample some of the gooiest messiest meatiest burgers they had to offer.

We had sleepless nights thinking about the burgers that didn’t quite make the cut and spent countless hours walking up and down the office deciding on the order.

This might be a slight exaggeration of the truth but you should know that a lot of burgers were eaten in order to compile this list and we are, in fact, burger experts.

It’s a hard job but someone’s got to do it.

So put down that low-fat slice of gourmet tofu and get a load of these instead.

The Eye-watering One: The Hot as Hell-Mann at Archies

Calling all foodies and burger fanatics. Hellmann’s have teamed up with northern burger, shake and waffles joint Archie’s to launch a new limited-edition dish and lovechild, the Hot as Hell-Mann. It promises to be the latest Insta-crushing dish. BLK Burger charcoal buns that are stuffed with a spicy chicken fillet, a slice of white cheddar cheese, lettuce and marinated in Hellmann’s Smokey Chipotle sauce. Making your eyes water, the Hot as Hell-Mann also features a generous layer of jalapeños for a tantalising fiery kick. It’s already a top trending dish on the gram, so grab it while you can – it’s set to finish this week and it’s priced at just £6.49. Team it with an Oreolicious cooling shake. You’ll need it. Click here to view menu.

The Size Matters One: The Big Manc at Solita

2 x 7 ounce minced chuck steak patties, iceberg, onions, home pickles, Monterey Jack cheese and Big Manc sauce. You experience it as one cohesive unit of human joy. Almost nothing else will ever come close to this and that’s perfectly okay. It’s the sort of fast food that makes you realise you’ve been eating the wrong kind of fast food all your life. You could share it with someone but please don’t. Nothing more to say now except here’s the menu. £14.50

The Streaky Bacon One: B-Rex at Byron

Byron serve up proper hamburgers using traditionally reared 100% prime Scottish beef. The B-Rex is the one to go for. Simple and just about perfect. Thin patty with crispy edges, mayo, lettuce, tomato, red onion and your choice of American cheese. It comes with an onion ring the size of your face and lashings of streaky bacon, jalapeños and BBQ sauce. It’s the kind of food that tastes so good and so fresh you’ll want to eat it alone in the stock cupboard at work so nobody asks you for a bite. You can find a Byron Hamburgers in Manchester’s Corn Exchange. Get there now.

The Brisket One: Pit Burger at True Reds Barbecue

The church of true barbecue in Manchester is officially open to true believers. In their quest to save hungry souls, their menu offers a range of the best burgers you’ll find this side of Texas. Think Yorkshire-sourced chuck, brisket and beef rib mix, pit-fired over charcoal and served in a brioche bun. Order yourself the Pit Burger made from beef patty, black Angus brisket, Red’s pulled pork, smoked peppered bacon, burger cheese, ballpark mustard, tomato, onion, pickles and lettuce. At £16.95 it’s not cheap, but it’s cheaper than a flight to Dallas.

The Veggie One: Guac To The Future at V-Revs

This bad babe is all plants and no pain. If you’re in the market for a bit of veggie dirty food, this vegan joint is a real game changer. Walk through the diner doors of V Revolution and you’re in vegetable heaven. 100% meat-free hotdogs, burgers, fake fried chicken and even a very snazzy looking ‘lobsta’ salad. The Guac to the Future chkn burger – fake chicken to you – is an absolute must. Hell-vis Presley, with its chunky beefy patty, cheez, beacon, banana, pickles, baeoconaise and then lashings of peanut butter ain’t half bad either. Drooling yet? Let me escort you to their menu here.

The Epic One: Fricking Hell Mann at Almost Famous

This beauty should come with a warning: not for the faint hearted. It features Almost Famous’ renowned double Famous cheeseburger with a generous serving of Hellmann’s American Smokey BBQ sauce and Hellmann’s Real Mayonnaise. Sound good? Then it’s stacked with a ridiculous portion of gooey mac and cheese, delicious BBQ smoked pulled pork and frickles (fried pickles). There’s simply no other burger like it in Manchester. If you want to experience it for yourself, you’ll want to book in here. You’ll be saving on your weekly shop too. You probably won’t need to eat for a week after trying one of these bad boys. £12.

These burgers are so good, it’s easy to get emotionally attached. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

If we’ve missed one of your favourites off the list, do let us know below. But we won’t be adding Maccy D’s double decker cheese burger, no matter how good you tell us it is.