Drinks That Changed The World – get on the Booze Trail with The Liquorists

The trickiest part about writing about booze events is the writing about it bit. If the event has been a success then your memory should be patchy at best, says Mark Jorgensen
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I’ve covered a couple of events by The Liquorists in the past – their Gincident barge party and the Rum Trails, both of which left me struggling to remember the first letter of my name the next day, let alone write about the night. 

They were fantastic. 

The options for covering these events are either to write notes – which become indecipherable blithering and accidental emojis as the night progresses – or go the gonzo route and record it. Nobody needs to see or hear recordings of themselves hammered do they? 

I went along to their latest booze trail – The 5 Drinks That Changed The World. 5 bars. 10 drinks – two in each. Christ. 

The crux of the evening is a series of funny and interesting drink-themed stories and history from booze attaché Tom Sneesby across lots of bars and a shedload load of drinks. 

From what I recall, this is what happened. 

Venue 1: Epernay. Drink 1: Negroni. 

The Liquorists At Epernay Negroni

This is an Italian classic aperitif cocktail, designed to excite your body and brain for the upcoming food. The twist was the Cloudcatcher Negroni.

Both great. Introductions and polite chatter among the 14 or so trailers. 

Drunk Level: 1

Tom yells “FOLLOW ME, MY DISCIPLES OF PISSED” to signify we were moving on. 

Venue 2: Almost Famous GN. Drink 2: Punch

The Liquorists At Almost Famous 1

We had a dead good classic punch – Havana Club Especial, lime, demerara sugar syrup, water and angostura bitters. Then the most famous twist on that – Havana, mango, lime, passionfruit, ting and bitters. 

In a cosy little backroom, this is where the noise, chat and fun cranked up significantly. It was also when I realised Tom’s parents were in attendance, and were massively entertaining. 

Thing learnt:  the word punch comes from the parsi word panj meaning 5 as this is the number of ingredients used – spirit, citrus, sugar, water and bitters. 

Quote: “back in the 1700s, STI’s were a badge of honour!”

Drunk Level: big jump to a 5. 
 

Venue 3: Hawksmoor. Drink 3: Martini plus food

The Liquorists At Hawksmoor 2

This was the perfect venue and timing to mop up some of the booze as we were getting giddy. We had been given the choice of either a burger or a short rib brioche rib with gravy dip. They had me at gravy dip. 

The food was absolutely amazing and sobered me up by the same amount that the two different Martinis topped me up again. The Hawksmoor bar is one you forget you should definitely go to more, too. 

Referring back to my introduction, the notes I made in my phone for this segment are simply: 

♥ Martini glasses? Fuck off 
♥ Saliva glands
♥ Churchill

Nailed it. 

Drunk Level: 6.5 but stomach lined.

Venue 4: All Star Lanes. Drink 4: Old Fashioned.

The Liquorists At Alstar Lanes

The old fashioned is my favourite drink. We learnt it was created in honour of a Colonel James E. Pepper at the Pendennis Club in Louisville, Kentucky to soothe the soul and settled the stomach. I always knew it was medicine. 

Thing also learnt: the etymology of the word hillbillies. 

My insightful note from this one: “he government challeng4ed over whiskey tax”. 

Drunk Level: 8.

Venue 5: Junkyard Golf. Drink 5: Daquiri.

The Liquorists At Junkyard Golf

The combination of rum, lime and sugar is as old as the trees. We had two delicious versions using El Dorado 3 year rum. One of them had a rainbow coloured fizzy sweet in if memory serves. 

It seemed fitting to end up in such an enjoyably bizarre setting as we had reached a point where our general drunken camaraderie was progressing to hatching plans of traveling and/or starting online businesses with people we’d met 3 hours prior. 

Thing learnt: Your guess is as good as mine. 

Phone notes entry: “4. dquiri el – jinkyardf” 

It was number 5. 

Drunk Level: Honestly officer, I wouldn’t have climbed down from the tree and put my trousers back on if I knew you were just going to criticise me.  

The Liquorists At Epernay

It would be remiss of me not to give a special shout out to Tom’s parents who were absolute stars of the show. They were as fun and hilarious as they were drunk – and they were absolutely shitfaced.

The final entry in my phone notes for the evening was an innocent, and beautifully simple    “7”. Just a few blank spaces and a 7. 

I think we can all take something from that.  

The Liquorists have more trails planned for this year – the 5 Drinks Trail running currently is followed by the cunningly named 5 OTHER Drinks That Changed The World at the end of March – 5 different cocktails in the Northern Quarter this time, including food at the awesome Cottonopolis. 

There is also the Mississippi Blues Cruise, the Gincident and the Vodyssey boat cruises. Pick your poison and float off with the Liquorists NOW: theliquorists.com/boatcruises

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