A Cereal Café set for Manchester?

Fair enough. Different businesses target different people irrespective of the demographic of the immediate area. That’s life.

What actually gets me most irate about this isn’t the fact that people will willingly pay twice the amount of a box of cereal for a tenth of the amount in a bowl with milk – although that is perplexing. It’s that people are going there to be part of ‘a scene’ rather than the product, or to support local businesses.

And the ‘scene’ is eating a bowl of cereal, which is arguably the shittest scene to have ever existed. Surely we’re better than that aren’t we?

Let London swallow itself up into a black hole of self-awareness gone awry. But not Manchester. Not here?

If in London @CerealKillerUK can do it well, in Manchester, can we do it better!!? Our secret is out, spread the word! #comingsoon

— Cereal Central MCR (@cerealcafemcr) December 22, 2014

Craft beer I get, even the burger thing. Some people genuinely don’t possess the skill or mental dexterity to make anything more complex than beans on toast. So fair enough – go to a place where you can get a thing that you can’t make, even if there are places that sell the thing miles cheaper but aren’t as cool on Twitter.

In days bygone, scenesters would go to places here they could discover new music, experiment with drugs or get naked with strangers.

But at a cereal café, you’re going to a place to eat a bowl of cereal. You can do that by yourself, surely? You can buy loads of the stuff at a supermarket – you know, those places you hate because they are closing down the independents, man.

But then you’d have to eat it at home, on your own, at breakfast time, and there’d be nobody around to tell you how cutting edge and amazing you are.

And that simply won’t do, will it?